My toddler, Katie, has started a fun new phase. She goes into a room, slams the door, and then cries because she is trapped in the room. (She isn't tall enough to turn the doorknob yet.) We have been through this phase already with her, so I thought we were done with it. But it flared up again. It's cute, in a way, because when you go in to save her from her own doings, she will be standing by the door looking shocked- despite the fact that she knows very well she closed the door herself.
We didn't do this twice with Anna. Anna was always very tall. She locked herself in rooms for about three weeks before figuring out the doorknobs. Katie is shorter than Anna was, and so she knows the doorknob is the key to getting out, but isn't tall enough to turn the knob. It must be maddening for her because she can TOUCH it, but not turn it. I've seen her try- I think she knows what she needs to do, but just isn't physically able to do it yet.
I was watching her do this little game this morning. She locked herself in the guest room three or four times in fifteen minutes. The last time she did, she just looked exasperated. Finally, she wised up and went outside with Anna. It made me laugh. It also made me think of my life. How many times have I slammed a figurative door in my own face, then stood looking at the door as if it had slammed on me on its own?
I think we do this to ourselves a lot. How often do we make a habit of coming in late to work and then get upset when we aren't the ones promoted? How often do we gossip about people and then get upset when people don't want to be friends with us? (I know that no one reading this has ever done anything of this sort... Of course I give examples that are only relevant to the rest of the world... :D)
I think we do this spiritually as well. How often do we listen to music or jokes or watch movies/tv shows that are inappropriate, and then wonder why we don't get many spiritual promptings? How often do we daydream (or play iPad/iPod/smartphone games) in church and then wonder why everyone else was uplifted but we weren't? How often do we NOT attend the temple, and then wonder why we don't feel the inspiration everyone talks about receiving in the Celestial Room?
Just a thought.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
My Pretty Ballerina
I was just reminded of something that happened to me as a kid. I just changed Katie's clothes into a cute little ballerina outfit, and it reminded me of a doll I wanted very badly as a kid. I don't remember how old I'd have been, but probably between eight and ten. The doll was called My Pretty Ballerina. I can even sing the jingle for the commercial still.
The doll was fancy. It was back when 'automated' dolls were new, so the fact that it could dance on its own with only minor work from the child was REALLY cool. The commercial made it look like so much fun. I remember the doll was being advertised very heavily all through November to get everyone excited to buy it for Christmas. My birthday is in November, so this piqued my interest very intensely. I wanted this doll SO badly for my birthday.
There was one problem with me wanting this doll for my birthday. I never told my parents I wanted it. I wasn't one to play with dolls. In fact, the few dolls I did own went completely unused unless a friend came over who liked dolls. I just wasn't a doll person. I have no idea how I thought my parents would figure out that I wanted this fancy (and probably very expensive) doll. I'm not even sure I would have played with it, if I look at myself at that age closely. But I wanted it so badly anyway.
My birthday rolled around. I was so excited, hoping so badly I would unwrap a box with that doll. If I remember correctly, I was actually expecting to get it, despite never having mentioned it once. Of course I didn't get the doll. I remember being so disappointed about what I did get (I still remember that it was lots of school supplies- stuff I'd have thought was way cool if I hadn't wanted the doll). I had to pretend to be happy about it all. Of course, I got over it all quickly. But I still hated that commercial when it came on because I hadn't gotten the doll for my birthday.
I have thought back on this experience several times since being married. Every time I do, the first thing I smile about is the fact I truly expected to get the doll even though I never said a word about it... I think we do that a lot of times. We just assume people will know what we want and are disappointed when they don't. The concept that people are not mind-readers often escapes us. But we do this with the Lord as well. We know He knows what we need, and we just expect Him to give it to us. We forget we have to ask for certain things before He will bless us with it. A testimony is one example of this. We can hope for a testimony all we want, but if we never pray to find out if a certain thing is true, we will never be blessed with a confirmation that it is.
Just a thought.
The doll was fancy. It was back when 'automated' dolls were new, so the fact that it could dance on its own with only minor work from the child was REALLY cool. The commercial made it look like so much fun. I remember the doll was being advertised very heavily all through November to get everyone excited to buy it for Christmas. My birthday is in November, so this piqued my interest very intensely. I wanted this doll SO badly for my birthday.
There was one problem with me wanting this doll for my birthday. I never told my parents I wanted it. I wasn't one to play with dolls. In fact, the few dolls I did own went completely unused unless a friend came over who liked dolls. I just wasn't a doll person. I have no idea how I thought my parents would figure out that I wanted this fancy (and probably very expensive) doll. I'm not even sure I would have played with it, if I look at myself at that age closely. But I wanted it so badly anyway.
My birthday rolled around. I was so excited, hoping so badly I would unwrap a box with that doll. If I remember correctly, I was actually expecting to get it, despite never having mentioned it once. Of course I didn't get the doll. I remember being so disappointed about what I did get (I still remember that it was lots of school supplies- stuff I'd have thought was way cool if I hadn't wanted the doll). I had to pretend to be happy about it all. Of course, I got over it all quickly. But I still hated that commercial when it came on because I hadn't gotten the doll for my birthday.
I have thought back on this experience several times since being married. Every time I do, the first thing I smile about is the fact I truly expected to get the doll even though I never said a word about it... I think we do that a lot of times. We just assume people will know what we want and are disappointed when they don't. The concept that people are not mind-readers often escapes us. But we do this with the Lord as well. We know He knows what we need, and we just expect Him to give it to us. We forget we have to ask for certain things before He will bless us with it. A testimony is one example of this. We can hope for a testimony all we want, but if we never pray to find out if a certain thing is true, we will never be blessed with a confirmation that it is.
Just a thought.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Van and Van's Twin
In January, I did what I think is to date the stupidest thing I have ever done. I hope that when I die, I am able to say still that the stupidest thing I have ever done was on Jan. 24, 2013... I turned left in front of someone and caused a car accident. It was a big car accident, but not necessarily serious. No ambulances were involved, but both cars were totaled.
There were so many blessings involved with this accident that it is impossible to outline all of them in a blog post. But I want to try to share a few blessings. Blessing number one was that it happened in our brand new van. (We'd made one payment on it, and I was clever enough to total it on the one-month anniversary of us buying it...) Scott had purchased the van on Christmas Eve. It'd been a huge joke at our house- I'd sent him to the store to check a price on something and instead he came home with a new van (and didn't check the price...). That story is deceiving because while he did the initial stuff, we made the decision to purchase it together and he brought it home for me to test drive before signing anything... But in any case, it was an unexpected purchase. He woke up that morning feeling very drawn to buying the van. I'm sure there were many reasons for that, but I now think that one HUGE reason for the purchase was this accident. If we'd still been in the tiny little Fit, I think we'd have been injured in this accident. I don't think anyone would have been killed or even permanently maimed, but I think we'd have been hurt- especially Katie. It hit on her side of the car. While in the van it was nowhere near where she was sitting, in the Fit the point of impact would have been very close to her.
Blessing number two was the actual totaling of the van. We were able to pay off the original van and get its twin brother- same make, model, color, etc. We were also able to use some extra money from the van to pay off (with the help of tax return) two small bills that reduced our monthly expenses. (See my previous blog post titled 'Perspective' for more info....)
Blessing number three was Moriah Spainhower. She happened to be driving by the area where I crashed the van shortly after the accident. She was with a friend who was driving and recognized me. So they turned around to see if I needed any help. I sent the girls home with Moriah so they didn't have to wait for everything to be finalized and signed. Moriah saved us a ton of stress as well as calmed Anna down. Katie was too little to know what had happened. Anna wasn't, and she was really scared. But not only was Moriah fun and cool, she had bunnies... By the time Scott and I were finally able to pick the girls up from Moriah's house, Anna was very happy. In fact, she didn't want to come home with us- she wanted to stay with Moriah. :)
Blessing number four is forgiveness. I got distracted and did something stupid. But I did all I could to make up for the mistake and was able to repent. I can't imagine having something like that mar my spiritual being forever. It was a mistake- I hadn't done it on purpose. But it was still carelessness that endangered people and affected more than just my family. (Fortunately, it appears so far that the lady in the other car is nice- we haven't heard any bad things from our insurance company about her or her husband....)
As I've said in other posts, look for the blessings in the trials. They are ALWAYS there. It would have been so easy to look at the negative things with this accident. There were a LOT of them. But what good would that do? Instead, we have come to view this accident as a blessing. First and foremost, of course, being that no one was seriously hurt. Because it could have been a lot worse. If we look for the bad, we are sure to find it. If we look for the good, we will see things that will amaze us and fill us with gratitude to our Heavenly Father. So why not look for the good? Just a thought.
There were so many blessings involved with this accident that it is impossible to outline all of them in a blog post. But I want to try to share a few blessings. Blessing number one was that it happened in our brand new van. (We'd made one payment on it, and I was clever enough to total it on the one-month anniversary of us buying it...) Scott had purchased the van on Christmas Eve. It'd been a huge joke at our house- I'd sent him to the store to check a price on something and instead he came home with a new van (and didn't check the price...). That story is deceiving because while he did the initial stuff, we made the decision to purchase it together and he brought it home for me to test drive before signing anything... But in any case, it was an unexpected purchase. He woke up that morning feeling very drawn to buying the van. I'm sure there were many reasons for that, but I now think that one HUGE reason for the purchase was this accident. If we'd still been in the tiny little Fit, I think we'd have been injured in this accident. I don't think anyone would have been killed or even permanently maimed, but I think we'd have been hurt- especially Katie. It hit on her side of the car. While in the van it was nowhere near where she was sitting, in the Fit the point of impact would have been very close to her.
Blessing number two was the actual totaling of the van. We were able to pay off the original van and get its twin brother- same make, model, color, etc. We were also able to use some extra money from the van to pay off (with the help of tax return) two small bills that reduced our monthly expenses. (See my previous blog post titled 'Perspective' for more info....)
Blessing number three was Moriah Spainhower. She happened to be driving by the area where I crashed the van shortly after the accident. She was with a friend who was driving and recognized me. So they turned around to see if I needed any help. I sent the girls home with Moriah so they didn't have to wait for everything to be finalized and signed. Moriah saved us a ton of stress as well as calmed Anna down. Katie was too little to know what had happened. Anna wasn't, and she was really scared. But not only was Moriah fun and cool, she had bunnies... By the time Scott and I were finally able to pick the girls up from Moriah's house, Anna was very happy. In fact, she didn't want to come home with us- she wanted to stay with Moriah. :)
Blessing number four is forgiveness. I got distracted and did something stupid. But I did all I could to make up for the mistake and was able to repent. I can't imagine having something like that mar my spiritual being forever. It was a mistake- I hadn't done it on purpose. But it was still carelessness that endangered people and affected more than just my family. (Fortunately, it appears so far that the lady in the other car is nice- we haven't heard any bad things from our insurance company about her or her husband....)
As I've said in other posts, look for the blessings in the trials. They are ALWAYS there. It would have been so easy to look at the negative things with this accident. There were a LOT of them. But what good would that do? Instead, we have come to view this accident as a blessing. First and foremost, of course, being that no one was seriously hurt. Because it could have been a lot worse. If we look for the bad, we are sure to find it. If we look for the good, we will see things that will amaze us and fill us with gratitude to our Heavenly Father. So why not look for the good? Just a thought.
Perspective
This week I had something happen to me at work that was a huge shock. I was suddenly cut back on my hours, which resulted in a pay cut as well. I was not expecting it, so when I got the e-mail, it was a big slap in the face. Part of this was the pure unexpected blow. Part of it (well, most of it) was pride. I'd thought I was doing a good job- why did my hours get cut? It turned out that it was no reflection on my performance, but simply because our enrollment had gone down. I could understand that, but I still shocked and hurt about my hours.
I don't know WHY it hurt my feelings at first. When I think back on it, I see how stupid it was for me to take something like that personally. But I did. For about twenty-four hours I stewed over and sulked about it. Scott tried to comfort me because the pay cut really wasn't that bad because we'd used our tax return to pay off a couple small bills in addition to laying sod in our back yard. That meant we could afford a little bit of a pay cut. But it wasn't so much the pay cut as it was just being reduced that upset me.
Then, the day after this happened, my sister said something in an e-mail that changed my whole perspective. She commented that the slightly fewer hours meant I could play with the girls more. Just that one comment suddenly dissipated the dark cloud I'd had about it. I started looking forward to the few more hours per week that I'd have as free time. I no longer resented the change. I wouldn't have chosen it if they'd asked me, but I didn't resent it anymore.
What I learned from this experience is two-fold. 1) There is ALWAYS a silver lining. That silver lining may not be immediate, but it will present itself eventually if we look for it. 2) When we do what the spirit prompts us to do, we are prepared for things. We were able to pay off two small bills with our tax return and the money we got from our van being totaled (that's a different story altogether...). That meant that while we will still notice the smaller paycheck, it won't matter with any essentials. What a huge blessing that we were given a way to cut our monthly budget just in time for such a change. We didn't know it was going to happen, but Heavenly Father did and he prepared us for it. I have several theories about why we were prepared in such a manner, and obviously I have no clue if any are the correct reason. It could be a result of the fact that we pay tithing. It could be a blessing from us paying into the ward mission fund. It could just simply be because the Lord loves us. In any case, we were prepared.
Remember to look for the blessings with the trials. Maybe the car broke down right before or after payday so you could afford to fix it. Maybe someone you love got really sick, but as a result you gained a better understanding of the Atonement. Just a thought.
I don't know WHY it hurt my feelings at first. When I think back on it, I see how stupid it was for me to take something like that personally. But I did. For about twenty-four hours I stewed over and sulked about it. Scott tried to comfort me because the pay cut really wasn't that bad because we'd used our tax return to pay off a couple small bills in addition to laying sod in our back yard. That meant we could afford a little bit of a pay cut. But it wasn't so much the pay cut as it was just being reduced that upset me.
Then, the day after this happened, my sister said something in an e-mail that changed my whole perspective. She commented that the slightly fewer hours meant I could play with the girls more. Just that one comment suddenly dissipated the dark cloud I'd had about it. I started looking forward to the few more hours per week that I'd have as free time. I no longer resented the change. I wouldn't have chosen it if they'd asked me, but I didn't resent it anymore.
What I learned from this experience is two-fold. 1) There is ALWAYS a silver lining. That silver lining may not be immediate, but it will present itself eventually if we look for it. 2) When we do what the spirit prompts us to do, we are prepared for things. We were able to pay off two small bills with our tax return and the money we got from our van being totaled (that's a different story altogether...). That meant that while we will still notice the smaller paycheck, it won't matter with any essentials. What a huge blessing that we were given a way to cut our monthly budget just in time for such a change. We didn't know it was going to happen, but Heavenly Father did and he prepared us for it. I have several theories about why we were prepared in such a manner, and obviously I have no clue if any are the correct reason. It could be a result of the fact that we pay tithing. It could be a blessing from us paying into the ward mission fund. It could just simply be because the Lord loves us. In any case, we were prepared.
Remember to look for the blessings with the trials. Maybe the car broke down right before or after payday so you could afford to fix it. Maybe someone you love got really sick, but as a result you gained a better understanding of the Atonement. Just a thought.
The Laying of the Sod
This week we laid sod in our backyard. This is a very exciting time for us, as we've had a big mud pit in our backyard for quite some time. Scott had mentioned to our bishop a few weeks before the sod was delivered that we'd be doing this over spring break. The bishop thought it'd be a great idea for the youth in the ward to come help us. (The bishop is mean to the youth and thinks it's good for them to do hard work... I'm sure they will appreciate it later, even if they don't now... :D)
Last Sunday, we mentioned to the youth what we were doing and when. We didn't really expect anyone to come help us lay the sod. That's really hard work and it was during spring break- a time when everyone would have other plans- even if it was just avoiding work. We figured we'd be doing it on our own, even though we hoped a few people would come help so it didn't take the entire day.
A father and son team showed up the morning of and were waiting with Scott in our driveway even before the sod was delivered. By the time we were done, we'd had about 20 people come to help. Some came later than others and some had to leave before we were done. But we had TWENTY people come to help. And to top it off, MOST were the youth. (And I'd like to point out that at least half of the youth were the Young Women. The young women in our ward are TOUGH! :D) We had the sod completely done from start to finish in just under two hours.
This is a huge deal. Scott found out Monday (we laid the sod Tuesday) that his oral defense for his second Master's Degree (yes, SECOND- go SCOTT!) was Tuesday at 10. The sod was scheduled to be delivered at 9. We were stressed about getting the sod laid. We had two worries- one was that no one would come help and I'd be out there alone trying to lay sod while Scott did his defense. The other was that people would come help and Scott would have to leave and go do his oral defense. We knew his defense would take a full hour.
The sod was delivered closer to 9:30 than 9, and as a result, Scott didn't get to do much at all before his defense. But we were 95% done when he came out from his defense- with word that he'd passed and was done with his degree. By about 11:15 the job was entirely done.
We now have a beautiful backyard, and our kids have loved it. We still have some work to do, but it is now all aesthetics that can be done over years and we will still have a nice backyard in the meantime. This is something we have wanted ever since we were married- a nice backyard for our kids to play in.
Work is not a bad thing. Apparently the youth in this ward have learned that well. Not only did they all volunteer to come do a very taxing job, but not of them complained about it once while they were here. They have also obviously learned the value of service. We will always welcome them at our house, but the honest truth of the matter is that they may never enjoy the lawn in our yard. But they still came. I know of at least one of the youth who postponed a trip in order to come help.
Always be willing to serve. Also, always be willing to accept service. I think Heavenly Father wants us to be good at both. Just a thought.
Last Sunday, we mentioned to the youth what we were doing and when. We didn't really expect anyone to come help us lay the sod. That's really hard work and it was during spring break- a time when everyone would have other plans- even if it was just avoiding work. We figured we'd be doing it on our own, even though we hoped a few people would come help so it didn't take the entire day.
A father and son team showed up the morning of and were waiting with Scott in our driveway even before the sod was delivered. By the time we were done, we'd had about 20 people come to help. Some came later than others and some had to leave before we were done. But we had TWENTY people come to help. And to top it off, MOST were the youth. (And I'd like to point out that at least half of the youth were the Young Women. The young women in our ward are TOUGH! :D) We had the sod completely done from start to finish in just under two hours.
This is a huge deal. Scott found out Monday (we laid the sod Tuesday) that his oral defense for his second Master's Degree (yes, SECOND- go SCOTT!) was Tuesday at 10. The sod was scheduled to be delivered at 9. We were stressed about getting the sod laid. We had two worries- one was that no one would come help and I'd be out there alone trying to lay sod while Scott did his defense. The other was that people would come help and Scott would have to leave and go do his oral defense. We knew his defense would take a full hour.
The sod was delivered closer to 9:30 than 9, and as a result, Scott didn't get to do much at all before his defense. But we were 95% done when he came out from his defense- with word that he'd passed and was done with his degree. By about 11:15 the job was entirely done.
We now have a beautiful backyard, and our kids have loved it. We still have some work to do, but it is now all aesthetics that can be done over years and we will still have a nice backyard in the meantime. This is something we have wanted ever since we were married- a nice backyard for our kids to play in.
Work is not a bad thing. Apparently the youth in this ward have learned that well. Not only did they all volunteer to come do a very taxing job, but not of them complained about it once while they were here. They have also obviously learned the value of service. We will always welcome them at our house, but the honest truth of the matter is that they may never enjoy the lawn in our yard. But they still came. I know of at least one of the youth who postponed a trip in order to come help.
Always be willing to serve. Also, always be willing to accept service. I think Heavenly Father wants us to be good at both. Just a thought.
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